Sunday, August 19, 2012
While innocently standing in line to get my morning coffee at Low Price Java Joint in Cosmpolitan City, I was feeling watched. Having just rolled out of bed and put the nearest skimpy sundress on, I expected that I might maintain the interest of someone... As I looked up, eyes barely visible beyond my bed head, I saw who was staring. He checked me out up and down and then his eyes settled on his obviously favourite spot: my boobs. He was fixated. He was hot and bothered.. He was, like, 100 years old...
He managed to make eye contact briefly enough to smile at me. To his credit, he had all his teeth. Well, who knows if they're actually his, but he did have teeth. Being that this has not been a hot summer romance-wise for me, I actually started to wonder: How old is too old? I am partial to the oldies, but am I wanting to hook up with a Grampy? A Zadie?? A Nonno??? No.
It's always a compliment to be found attractive by someone. Clearly, anyone. This encounter was unique for me in that I've never seen someone so old be so sexually expressive. So early. Good for him!. He honestly looked hungry enough to eat his breakfast bagel off my boobs. He also lessened the bad rap for all sexy seniors (?!?), as most singletons write off the elderly due to known issues with age-related erectile dysfunction. And bladder control issues. And saggy skin. And dentures. And uncontrolled flatulence. Well, perhaps old Hungry Eyes just served to reinforce the fact that to men who most likely have few options, Age-Related Macular Degeneration (with possible cataracts) and an overabundance of ear and nose hair, I've got it goin' on!