Sunday, September 27, 2009
Okay, okay….. so it’s not exactly the esteemed Mile High Club, but it’s as close as I’ve come (pardon the pun)! I’ve always fancied myself as kind of a prude. I don’t usually do it, say, swinging from chandeliers and I have no desire for my partner to handcuff me or to zip me into a hooded rubber suit and whip me... Still, I have had a bit of a “thing” for exhibitionism for quite a while. Even when I was a teenager, my mother, the ultimate prude, would yell at me for changing in my room with the curtains up. She thought I was a slut. Perhaps I was.
I get the notion of doing it on a plane, but I don’t get the point of doing it in the washroom. Airplane bathrooms are notoriously scary – they are small, the lighting is terrible and they stink. Yuck. I’m more for trying to do something under a blanket – that’s something to look forward to…
I’ve done it in parks, bar bathrooms and offices – nothing too out of the ordinary. However, when I was in Paris one summer, I had a hotel room with a teeny balcony that offered a view of the Eiffel Tower all lit up in twinkle lights. It was so romantic and ever since then, I’ve had the desire to go back to that balcony and get it on.
Since I’m not likely to make it back to Paris any time soon, I’ve had to settle for my balcony. Although not overlooking the Eiffel Tower, it does offer a beautiful view of downtown Cosmopolitan City. It was my goal this summer to do it on my 10th storey balcony. My lover, G Spot, and I got down to business. There’s something freeing about doing it outdoors. Yes, there may have been some people watching, but isn’t it entertaining for them? If I had been one of the guests at the balcony party across the street as we’d been getting it on, I’d have been very entertained. I'm not sure what their plans were for the entire night, but perhaps we saved them a few dollars on porn....
Thursday, September 24, 2009
How fun are these Loubtoutins??? These are the shoes that Carrie is wearing in the SATC2 movie with the white dress and aviators (pictured a few posts below).
How much power would you have on a date if you wore shoes like this?? How could you not come across as totally confident (not to mention, sparkly!)??? It would be a crime not to play footsie in these sexy stilettos!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sid and Nancy knew what it was to be crazy in love. So did Sean Penn and Madonna. Hell, Beyonce even wrote the song. Now, a thirtysomething Canadian woman who we’ll call Paris Match, is abandoning everything she has ever known to move to France to take a chance on love. Crazy!
Paris Match met the object of her obsession (I mean, affection…) on a hiking trip. He was visiting Canada; she was bored and in need of a hangover helper, which to some people means a lie in followed by a greasy fry up but to her meant a hike. They met, they spoke frenglish for 9 days and then he left. He called when he got back to his country to ask when she was coming to visit. In true thirtysomething singleton fashion, she misinterpreted this inquiry into her vacation plans as an invitation to move to France to be with him. She’s leaving next week……
Her friends think she’s crazy. Her family thinks she’s crazy. I think she’s crazy. Sure, I love the charm, character, architecture and je ne sais quois that Paris has to offer, but I’d rather move there for that than to take a chance on a 9 day romance. I’ve had infections that have lasted longer than that, but that’s another post altogether………………
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
In a recent article on the disapointing dating tactic of "mate poaching", my favourite sexpert, Josey Vogels, examines the results of a study done at Oklahoma State University (surely, a study performed at UCLA would sound much sexier and more appealing…). To begin, Vogels acknowledges some common unwritten rules about dating etiquette (who you should and shouldn’t date). Let's take a look to read and understand before we continue:
* Friends' exes are out.
* So is asking someone out when you know a girlfriend is already interested in him.
* Hitting on a girlfriend's guy when they are already dating is definitely out.
* Hitting on any guy who's already attached or married even if you're not friends with his partner is a no-no.
The results of the study indicated that 90% of the sluts (errr.... I mean students) at Oklahoma State were more interested in dating a man who’s already in a relationship than they were in dating a single man. The results of past psychological studies have also indicated that some women try to lure men away from their current partners. One previous study, performed in 2004, showed that as many as 1 in 5 relationships began when one or both partners were already in relationships with someone else. Whoa. What’s shocking about this recent study is that it has shown that the cohorts prefer committed men over single men. Huh???!!!
“Men and women were matched with students based on a description of their ideal romantic partner. When researchers described the women's match as single, 59 percent of the single women in the study were interested in pursuing him. However, when they described the exact same man as being in a committed relationship, 90 percent of the women were interested. Neither the men nor the already attached women who participated showed this preference.
Dr. Melissa Burkley, an assistant professor of social psychology at Oklahoma State University and one of the researchers behind the study suggests that the reason behind this is that single women are more interested in pursuing unavailable men (now, there's some shocking news) possibly because they are more interested in a guy who's already shown he can commit by being in another relationship, indicating he'd be a reliable mating partner.”
I get it. Having suffered through singledom for many, many years, I was convinced that all the good guys were taken. It seemed that all of my friends who were dating were with miserable wrecks, but my girlfriends in committed relationships all seemed happy with their men. As much as I was convinced by these facts, I still never entertained the notion of attempting to steal one of my friend’s dudes. Jeez. I have been pursued by men in committed relationships in the past and, trust me, the minute I found out they were taken, I was outta there. Who needs that kind of drama? Apparently, I stand in a very small segment of the single female population – the 10% who would never go there.
Obviously, men in relationships have proven that they can commit and, to the benefit of other women, they’ve been trained by their partners, thereby releasing that responsibility to the female poacher. Still, my goodness, are these women not afraid of karma? If a man will be lured from his woman for you, doesn’t it stand to reason that he could be lured by someone else in the future?? Or, worse, he could develop a strange, kinky fetish such as falling for a single girl!!!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
That is the song that made her famous.
To address the comment in the post below, I'd like to say that both Carol Channing and Phyllis Diller are fabulous. However, they bring different talents to the table. Phyllis is hilarious and her jokes and quotes are timeless. Carol, as it relates to this blog, is not as quoted, however she will be one of my relationship idols. Following Elizabeth Taylors example, perhaps, Carol is the marrying kind. She seems to have entered many different phases of marriage... She began with the typical (and quick) Hollywood "starter" marriage, then she had a "trading up" marriage, followed closely by a "traditional" marriage (ending with the death of her spouse) and is now on her "trophy" marriage. What a trooper! I guess gentlemen really do prefer blondes.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
You can’t ask questions like that without immediately catching my attention.
The authors of the book ‘Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into The romantic Dream – and How They’re Paying For It’, Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake, emplore women not to “…throw your hot, youthful selves away on young, financially unproven men. They might never become successes, and if they do, they’ll probably just chuck you for younger models when you’re too old to successfully compete again in the marriage marketplace.” They go on to insist that women “… marry rich guys while you’re still taut enough to snag them. They may dump you, too, but at least you’ll have nice, fat divorce settlements with which to pursue true love, or the pool guy, whoever comes first.” Wow. I considered buying this book, but the thought of putting my hard earned money into the hands of these greedy girls is too much to bear.
In defence of the tome, Amazon.com offers the following review:
“Why does society applaud a girl who falls for a guy’s “big blue eyes” yet denounces one who chooses a man with a “big green bankroll”? After all, isn’t earning power more a reflection of a man’s values and character? Smart Girls Marry Money challenges the ideals and assumptions women have blindly accepted about love and marriage—and shows how they’ve done so at their own economic peril. In this brazen manifesto, the authors use cold hard facts, real science, and true stories to present a compelling case for why mercenary marriages make the most sense for future happiness.
Smart Girls taps into a growing, collective suspicion that the post-feminist world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Female “empowerment” has women working hard to look sexier than ever, while carrying more than their fair share financially. Yet sadly, statistics prove that: not only do women continue to earn far less than their male counterparts, they also suffer far more economically when marriages fail. Ford and Drake think it’s high time that women get their heads out of the clouds and start caring about their own security—the kind that can be measured in dollars and common sense. With an irreverent, straight-talk tone, the authors serve up a sound case and intriguing strategy for how women can truly “have it all.” Sure to spark conversation and controversy, Smart Girls Marry Money will ultimately empower women with a new way to take control of both their economic and romantic lives.”
I see, financially, where they are coming from. But what about passion? Romance?? Love??? It is obvious that, when people get divorced, it is financially difficult. That is unfortunate. However, what if people take the time to seek out an appropriate partner and agree on what they want in a long term relationship in an effort to stay together? If you can find a fabulous partner and make it, then a large cash settlement after a long, bitter (and expensive!) feud would not be necessary. So then what? Is it okay to marry for love? What if one found the perfect partner who ended up being working class? One should dump that partner? Are we supposed to chase after men with six figure salaries instead of six inch d*cks??? Kidding, but really – I’m confused by this! The idea of marrying money is so unromantic. I’m picturing a woman walking down the aisle towards a wad of cash. I’m laughing. What fairy tale ever ended with the young princess marrying the old, fat, balding bank roll???
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I’m not even sure where to start with this story……. Shockingly enough, the details of this story do not belong to me or any of my single friends. Sadly, the afflicted woman in this scenario (we’ll call her Debbie Does Detroit) was making a valiant attempt to date in what is known as ‘the armpit of the US’. It’s crazy what can happen when dating in the motor city.
Debbie met a man, who we’ll call Chad The Impaler, at a Casino. Wait - it gets worse from here. She went on to excitedly accept a first date with The Impaler. Chad, the ultimate gentleman, chose the quaint and lovely restaurant Buffalo Wild Wings for their date. So sweet and thoughtful – surely girls love eating wings on a first date – it’s so feminine, sexy and clean......
After what I’m sure was a memorable and delectable meal, followed by what must have been sparkling and witty conversation, The Impaler excused himself from the table under the guise that he had forgotten his wallet in Debbie’s 2000 Chevy Impala. The next thing you know, The Impaler has stolen the Impala. Poor Debbie – not only does she have to drive a 9 year old Impala in the first place, but her date has now cunningly lifted it from her. Having (incredibly stupidly) posed for photos for Debbie earlier, taken with the camera on her phone, Debbie went to the local cop shop to press charges. The Impaler was later spotted and arrested by Detroit police. Chad has now been charged and could be faced with a 5 year sentence for stealing the car. What about the sentence that poor Debbie is left with??? No car, no date, Detroit……
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
"The fact is, sometimes it’s hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun."
- Carrie Bradshaw
* I am lusting and drooling over the super-gorgeous kicks in this picture