Sunday, March 25, 2012
And we don't want that!
Today, I am pleased to post this fabulous article written for us by dating doyenne Erica St. Claire. Read on for her rules and regulations regarding playing it right while playing on Facebook:
It’s hard to imagine going a day (okay, for some of you let’s get real—it’s hard to imagine going an hour) without logging onto Facebook. And if you are as obsessed with the guy you’re dating as you are the world’s most popular social networking site, the combination of the two could be a recipe for cyber disaster. As useful as Facebook is, it can also be a breeding ground for behavior that could send him heading for the hills…so to make sure that you keep digital drama from coming between you and your guy, be sure to check out and learn from the following mistakes so that you don’t wind up broken-hearted, changing your relationship status to “single,” and out a laptop because of the tears you cried into the keyboard:
Facebook Fail #1: Changing your relationship status without a discussion. In this day in age we are so consumed with our electronics and technology that we barely even communicate face to face anymore. But this is no excuse to rush to your computer the moment you think you’ve reached the point of an exclusion relationship to update the status of your Facebook relationship. Sure, maybe you’ve been dying to change it from “it’s complicated” to “in a relationship with ____;” but if you want the relationship to not only last on Facebook, but to actually last in real life, then you have got to talk it out with the guy first. Don’t rush this—guys freak easy (no shocker there)—so let it arise naturally and if the two of you come to a mutual agreement that you are exclusive, then it is okay to entertain the idea of declaring your love on Facebook for all of your closest 1,456 friends to “like.”
Facebook Fail #2: Hacking into his account. Maybe you’ve watched one too many episodes of CSI and have such a knack for investigating that if the career choice was more realistic, you would probably be living life as an undercover secret agent. But when you take these skills and apply them to the mission of uncovering your boyfriend’s Facebook password to hack into his account, you aren’t using your powers for good. Trust is the foundation for any healthy relationship and if you are fishing through his account for scandalous dirt that reveals infidelity or other such behavior, he’s going to find out—and he’s not going to stick around. If you don’t trust the guy, what point is there in dating him in the first place?
Facebook Fail #3: Oversharing. Yeah, it’s nice that you are happily enjoying the company of a man. But when you are constantly bombarding the mini-feeds of everyone on Facebook with picture after posed kissy-face picture of you and lover boy, writing on his wall messages that should have been sent via text, and delivering dramatic statuses about the latest fight that the two of you are in…not only will you get defriended for testing the gag reflexes of your entire social network, but you also risk getting broken up with. When you engage in such behavior and put every single move of your relationship out there for all 800 million plus users of Facebook to see, you don’t leave anything special between you and your boyfriend. In this world where everything is public, it’s nice to keep some parts of your relationship private every now and then.
Erica St. Claire is a guest post author who enjoys writing about dating and relationships. In addition, Erica also owns Catholic Singles Dating Sites where she provides informative articles with tips for safe online dating.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
If I had any doubts over the past 3 weeks whether being on mancation was the right decision, I certainly got my answer on the weekend. In a moment of weakness, I decided to put my profile back on Useless Dating Site just in case Big Daddy happened to be back online and might see it. Mature, I know... Anyhoo, after receiving winks, smiles and ridiculous emails from men who say they are forty but are really sixty, who refuse to wear tops, who are in love with their dogs or who can't even hide in their crazy-eyed photos that they are serial killers, I received an email from someone who seemed different. Normal. Adventurous. Outgoing. Successful. After some emails back and forth and phone tag, I received the following message on a beautiful Sunday morning in Cosmpolitan City:
Him: Hey Carrie, Can we set a date to meet for a date? Lol. Would you be interested in getting together over the next few days? What would work for you? Have a wonderful morning.
Wow! What a great text to receive on a gorgeous day after a relaxing yoga class. My response:
CB: This week is pooched for me (why does everyone always want to go out in the same week?!). I have plans Sat night but could meet you before if that works.
The ridiculous reply:
Him: Next Saturday? Lol.. Ok I'm giving that a one in ten for happening... if I fall that far back on your list then I would prefer just to say goodbye. Take care and good luck! The truth is we will both have a few dates before then and I will have much more to go on with someone else who isn't so busy... you understand I am sure. Have a great day.
Ummm... 'Scuse me? Doesn't everyone have a busy week every now and again?? And isn't Saturday night traditionally date night anyways???
CB: I'm serious - I have plans with friends and no other dates planned - it's just a busy week. Enjoy this lovely day.
Like, how else was I supposed to sign off? I certainly didn't expect to hear from him again. Until this:
Him: Lol... wow can you please say more nice and wonderful things to make me more interested? What are you thinking texting me this crap? Lol... good luck to you I'm no longer interested... maybe the third week in May I'll have time for you lol what a joke.
In a case like this, though I'm completely anonymous on this site, I would like to name names just to save other sexy singletons in Cosmopolitan City from this guy. I have never received such a harsh, aggressive and nasty communication like this. I was offering him a date that was 6 days away! Don't men usually run and hide from needy women with no lives?!
I keep thinking to myself - imagine if we'd met up and circumstances had been different and we'd gotten along and started dating. Then, what if I did something to really p*ss him off! Would he kill me?! Psychopath.
Although incredibly unfortunate, that was probably karma's way of telling me to get my caution tape dress back on and remain on mancation. Perhaps indefinitely!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
You may have been wondering what to wear during mancation... So was I, until I found the perfect dress. There are many mancation fashion options, such as wearing a garbage bag (to ensure the douchey dudes steer clear), a suit of armour (to protect oneself from an onslaught of bad boy bullsh*t) or a straight jacket (because if I have to endure any more dating drama I will have to be institutionalized).
When I came up on this dress, I was ecstatic. It has a fit and flare silhouette (feminine, sexy), is knee length (I like giving attention to my gams) and still screams "Stay The Hell Away From Me!". This dress is the perfect partner to the LBD (Little Black Dress) and will be known as the LMD (Little Mancation Dress). F*cking fabulous!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Welcome to my mancation. I will be on mancation for the entire month of March. And possibly beyond. What is mancation, you wonder? Well, let me define it for you:
Mancation (man-kay-shun) noun:
1. A period of suspension of all dating related activities, to be used for rest, relaxation and time to undue the psychological trauma brought on from the act of dating.
2. Freedom or release from the duty of trying to find a normal boyfriend.
3. A total lack of kissing, making out or sex. But due to the need for a mancation, you're probably not in the mood anyway.
Got it?! Since my latest relationship, with Big Daddy, bit the big one, I've decided that I need to take some time off. I've been working hard at dating and trying to find a nice, normal boyfriend, however my attempts continue to be thwarted by confusing and frustrating male behaviour. Do I still want to find a loving partner? Absolutely! This month? Not so much. I'm hoping that a brief interlude from the soul-sucking singles scene will provide me with a renewed perspective, perseverance and pain relief.
Lets break down the cost of my mancation: Therapy sessions to deal with my emotional drama: $110/hr. Self help books to try to understand his baby mama drama: $17.50 (plus shipping & handling). Australian shiraz to dull the pain: $19. The absence of bullsh*t bad boy behaviour: priceless!