Thursday, July 26, 2012

K Stew + R Pat = Cheating Trampire - Devoted Boyfriend

Now, I am not a math major, however that is a bad equation!
I would like to say that I was never a fan of the surly and miserable looking K Stew.  Although R Pat doesn't seem much happier, I could never understand the draw of a sullen, miserable woman.  I still wonder what on earth is going on with Posh and Becks...
Yesterday, the news broke that Kristin Stewart has cheated on her longtime boyfriend, Robert Pattinson with the director of her last film, Rupert Sanders.  Sanders is also a cheating man-whore and is married (to a model, hello!) with children.  Yowza.  I have always been amazed how R Pat stuck with Kristin for as long as he did, but can anyone explain the draw of this dour and dirty-looking (seriously!  like, WTF?!) "dish"?  I thought that men are attracted to bright, sunny and sexy singletons... What am I doing wrong here?  Do I need to embrace (or, at least, find) my inner vampiric dark side?? Should I become pale, morose and stop washing my hair??? 
I will say that it was apropriate of KStew to issue an apology before the story was broken by US Magazine.  It was also apropriate that R Pat moved out of their shared home this afternoon.  I await news come the breaking dawn (heh!) on the feeding frenzy of the vampire vixens on Edward Cullen.  Bye, bye, Bella!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Today's Funny

But next week is going to be even funnier thanks to Big Daddy’s latest ex antics! Stay tuned.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Meat Market Madness

"You know, Carrie, it doesn't get any easier to meet men as you get older."
~ June Cleaver Blogshaw, 2002
Yes, another famous quote from my mother.  And yes, again, she was right. 
This weekend, my sexy single partner in crime, Mademoiselle, and I went out on the town.  After a divine dinner, we went to a bar for some drinks and dancing.  In the lineup, we met a duo of dudes and started chatting.  Mademoiselle had her eye on one and I, therefore, ended up stuck with The Friend (known as such because I am now so old and deaf that I can't hear over loud music).  After trying many different strategies to relieve myself of The Friend (including ignoring him, dancing with other guys and at one sad point, running away), I started downing drinks like a champ.  Like I used to..  When I was younger... 
By the end of the evening, I had dined, drank and danced with the best of them.  Mademoiselle and I met lots of new guys, however none ended up being promising prospects.  The next day, I woke up  with the most horrible hangover ever.  I felt worse and worse as the day wore on.  I had to skip my gym class, cancel my hair cut and missed out on rooftop drinks (oh, I could still barf!).  What's worse?  Halfway through the day I had a flashback of making out with someone.  But which one?!  I'm pretty sure, through my foggy haze, that it was The Friend.  People, I made out with someone and I don't even know his name! 
If this is what it takes to meet men these days, I'm screwed.  At my age and stage, I need to find ways to meet men where I can be sober (or slightly buzzed, that's always fun...), where I have the use of all my senses, where it doesn't cost a minimum of $100 and where I won't lose an entire day for recovery.  Cheers!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Today's Funny

Once upon a time, a sexy singleton read a bedtime story and it was the bestest, happiest, most satisfying story she'd ever read.
And she (and her bottle of wine) lived happily ever after!