Sunday, August 28, 2011
I guess that first kiss has woken my sex drive from a temporary slumber. In the months after my most recent breakup, I had not experienced much sexual desire. I just wasn’t interested. In fact, for quite a long time, I was disgusted by men. All men. I did start to wonder about this, but wasn’t too concerned, as it seemed a fitting feeling. Who (well, besides a man…) would feel like getting it on after a massive heartbreak?
After my last makeout session, I have been feeling quite differently. I feel sexual again. I feel sexy. I feel desire! Experiencing a sexual breakthrough is quite something. I am going to do everything I can to make the most of my sexual renaissance. I will make out with every willing partner that I am attracted to. I will enjoy the tingles and warm flushes when they strike. I will masturbate like a jail bird. Like a lurking perv.. Like a teenage boy who just discovered his first sexual fixation – just like I used to not so long ago…
Am I looking to hook up with the first attractive man who makes the grade? Um, no. Am I looking? Oh, yes!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Ahh, the first kiss. Well, not that first kiss, I mean the first kiss after a breakup. Ahh, that first kiss!
In the past few months, I’ve had dates, dirty dances and furious flirtations with some pretty interesting guys. But it was only last week that I worked up to that first kiss. It was a hot, steamy night at a private party in Cosmopolitan City. Who showed up? A former colleague with whom I had sparked in the past. This was not our first makeout session (we had given coworkers an eyeful a few years ago at a private party…). We had always flirted and there had always been an attraction. After spending some time catching up, we took the time to reminisce about that last makeout session. Before I knew it, we were at it again. It was hot. It was passionate. It came at just the right time.
Over the past few months, I had lost my mojo. I wasn’t terribly concerned, as it seemed relevant to the situation at hand. I have wondered, more recently, when I was going to get my mojo back. I typically have a high sex drive and was surprised at how long I was able to function with no feeling between my belly button and my knees. Recently, that ‘no entry’ zone of mine has become more of an ‘enter with caution’ zone. Pretty soon, if I get going enough, that ‘enter with caution’ zone might become a ‘no exit’ zone!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
It’s time for another book review and giveaway, y’all!
Twang: A Novel is written by John Schlimm, a former country music publicist. Schlimm has drawn upon his experience to pen this provocative publication.
The story weaves together the intriguing lives of fictional country music superstars in a Nashville that is nastier and naughtier than one might expect. The character that ties the lives together is Billie Blotter, a famous columnist for Country Crooners Magazine. He has earned the trust of Nashville’s elite, but is he about to turn that trust into the biggest tabloid take of the century?
The central storyline revolves around the Field Sisters, two of country music’s biggest superstars. Older sister Salome is totally over the top and the diva of the pairing. Younger sibling Willa, the true musical talent with a velvet voice, begrudgingly participates in Salome’s desperate need to remain at the top of the charts. The duo perform outrageous shows for their faithful followers, the Field Hands, that are often followed by legendary fights. On top of raging sibling rivalry, Salome has a salacious secret that, if leaked, could separate the sisters forever.
In Hollywood (or, Hollywacked, as Salome says), we learn the tawdry truth about Ashley Field, mega movie star and son of Salome. Between box office sizzles (and, lately, fizzles), partying at premieres and frequent fornication (with only the hottest models and actresses), can Ashley manage to maintain his image or will he fall victim to his lascivious lifestyle?
Back in Nashville, Hope Tanner and Thad Evans are the hottest country music couple since Tim and Faith or Blake and Miranda. Hope plans to make an announcement sure to shock everyone. Will Thad, recently distracted and totally tempermental, eclipse Hope’s hype with a rocking revelation of his own?
Amidst all of the delish drama is Nat Oldham, former beauty queen and current persevering publicist. Nat, not busy enough managing the culminating careers of the Field Sisters or working on her moribund marriage, prefers to catapult new band The Border Babes to superstardom. Will the Babes bring Nat the recognition she so desperately desires?
Drama. Romance. Secrets. Celebrity.
For anyone who enjoys TMZ, gossip rags or E!, this rousing read is for you. Try to put it down as Schlimm weaves the storylines tightly together into a saucy and stimulating summer read. Will you guess the secrets before they are revealed? Will you develop an insatiable interest in the lives of country crooners?? Will you be able to put down this provocative page-turner and carry on with the details of daily life???
Enter to win a FREE download & $10 giftcard to Amazon.com. Go to my new website: http://www.carrieblogshaw.com Good luck!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, ‘Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!’
The husband said, ‘Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?’
‘Doesn’t matter,’ she said. ‘Just get out.’
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Okay guys, seriously...
The catcall I received today has inspired me to educate men as to the success rate of this creepy callout. Oh, and it's not just me who feels this way... This goes for all women - believe me.
Today, while innocently pumping gas after a blissful yoga class, I was accosted with a cloying catcall. A (pot-bellied, slovenly) middle-aged man in a (dirty) wifebeater got out of his thumping, heaving truck and started panting heavily. So heavily that it could be heard over the badgering beats. All of a sudden, I hear: "Look at you, working that pump, eh? I'd like to pump you." Nice. That's exactly the kind of pick up I go for.
What came next was shocking and sickening. And unexpected, as it's usually only the lowest of the low who pull this type of move. After his charming and endearing love message, he gave the "lick-ey face" with full tongue. Lovely...
Anyhoo, we're going out on Saturday night. I'll let you know how it goes!