Dating in Detroit

I’m not even sure where to start with this story……. Shockingly enough, the details of this story do not belong to me or any of my single friends. Sadly, the afflicted woman in this scenario (we’ll call her Debbie Does Detroit) was making a valiant attempt to date in what is known as ‘the armpit of the US’. It’s crazy what can happen when dating in the motor city.

Debbie met a man, who we’ll call Chad The Impaler, at a Casino. Wait - it gets worse from here. She went on to excitedly accept a first date with The Impaler. Chad, the ultimate gentleman, chose the quaint and lovely restaurant Buffalo Wild Wings for their date. So sweet and thoughtful – surely girls love eating wings on a first date – it’s so feminine, sexy and clean......

After what I’m sure was a memorable and delectable meal, followed by what must have been sparkling and witty conversation, The Impaler excused himself from the table under the guise that he had forgotten his wallet in Debbie’s 2000 Chevy Impala. The next thing you know, The Impaler has stolen the Impala. Poor Debbie – not only does she have to drive a 9 year old Impala in the first place, but her date has now cunningly lifted it from her. Having (incredibly stupidly) posed for photos for Debbie earlier, taken with the camera on her phone, Debbie went to the local cop shop to press charges. The Impaler was later spotted and arrested by Detroit police. Chad has now been charged and could be faced with a 5 year sentence for stealing the car. What about the sentence that poor Debbie is left with??? No car, no date, Detroit……