Sunday, June 17, 2012
Friends Without Benefits
Is it even possible?! I have a few male friends in my life. But did most of those relationships start out with platonic intentions? Not so much. As I've gotten older (and better!), I have made male friends, but they are mostly gay. Fabulous! Nowadays, men don't seem to interact with me so that we can just hang out. Or do they?
Recently, an acquaintance and I have been spending time together. We've both experienced some disastrous and depressing dating scenarios in the past while, so there is a bit of hesitation on both our parts. We have been honest about this. Platonically, we connect on many levels. He's definitely come into my life for a reason and I have been enjoying our hang outs. The question is: will we be able to maintain a friendship without benefits?
I have noticed some friskiness in the interactions recently and I wonder where this is headed. How do I keep it friendly? Do I continue to show up when we meet dressed like a garbage collector? Acting like one?? Smelling like one??? On my part, I can't really help it if he happens to be smart, funny and playful. He's also tall and smells good, but I'm not focusing on that, right?!
Friendship, like love, is formed out of attraction. We choose our bff's like we do our bf's based on qualities that we find fascinating. I'm attracted to my bff's without wanting to do them. Perhaps I shouldn't focus on the lack of benefits in a friendship, because there are some after all. Together, we can platonically:
* Talk about things that I find most guys don't want to dish about
* Get the opinion of the opposite gender on decoding crazy or questionable conduct
* Hit the patios this summer without having to go on any dubious dates
* Get totally loaded, cross the line, not be able to sort it out and become f*ck friends with benefits!