Sunday, August 12, 2012
The Family Flirt
Here’s my latest experience in the disconcerting dating scene. Perhaps you should grab a drink before reading – I had to!
On holidays in Northern Cosmopolitan City, my parents and I went into the nearest town for dinner. On the way, we had to stop at the grocery store to grab some grub for later in the week. While picking peas in the pod outside, I felt someone watching me. I turned around to find a nice-looking older man (I’m fixated on fossils!) checking me out. Grocery store pick ups are difficult to navigate, but I felt it might happen. As I walked into the store, he followed me in and casually looked around everywhere I went. I was flattered. I was feeling it! While standing at the cash with my mother, the vainglorious vixen also known as June Cleaver Blogshaw, I pointed out the philandering silver fox. June’s reaction: “Oh, I thought he was checking me out…” Um, no.
As we left the store, I felt disappointed and dejected. How could I have engineered the encounter to include an introduction? Knowing that we were heading to the restaurant, I thought about how serendipitous it would be if he just happened to be heading there, too. We had to stop for gas, which was convenient as the restaurant is also the local fuel station. Fancy, I know. As my diligent dad, Ward, worked the pump, June and I entered the bistro. As we walked in, I noticed the silver fox right behind me. Yes! I knew that we would be able to focus on our flirtation while inside. The waitress took us to our table, which was situated in front of the table of a family of four. With a single mom. I waited for the silver fox to request a table next to ours. Imagine my shock and horror as he walked over to the family table. To take his spot.. With his wife and 3 children… Ugh!
The worst? His seat was directly in my line of view. He spent the entire meal trying not to look directly at me, while stealing glances when the fam weren’t watching. Um, yeah… No.
In my long-suffering experience of dating I have experienced all sorts of dubious dilemmas. I have encountered many types that I have had to learn to watch out for: The Alcoholic Workaholic, The Sexaholic Workaholic, The Alcoholic Sexaholic Workaholic, The Stone Wall… And now, The Family Flirt!