Sunday, June 7, 2009
Archie chose Veronica???!!!
Boys ARE dumb!!! I heard this news last weekend and I’m still p*ssed. I’m in shock! What happened? Do nice girls ever finish last? Surely, in comic books at the very least, the nice girl could get the guy while the snobby b*tch would be left to deal with Jughead’s zany antics???!!!
The circuitous love triangle between Archie, Betty and Veronica has kept Archie Comics readers rapt for over 65 years. 65 years – that is correct. And this is how it ends??? I, for one, have always been on Betty’s side. Believe it or not, I spent quite a bit of time entertaining myself with this thoroughly frustrating threesome back in high school, which is why this struck a chord now. Betty, the heroine, is natural, sweet, genuine and caring. Veronica, the antagonist and general pain in the a**, is self-obsessed, vain, uncaring and mean. She seems to have the kind of affection towards Archie as she does towards a dirty dishrag, she uses him as a spare when she can’t get a date with Reggie or someone who is more her style (say, the captain of the football team, her favourite teacher or the branch manager of her local bank….), and she is MEAN to him! On a regular basis!! What gives in this scenario???!!! What are men looking for??? Why does he put up with this s*it??? Does he always leave Betty for Veronica because she has a fast car? A sugar daddy?? A hair straightener???
The other thing that is bothering me immensely (seriously – I’ve spent the whole week trying to sort this out in my head…) is if Veronica is going to say yes. She doesn’t really like the guy… Can she not find someone more suitable? Will Betty find someone more suitable??? Why is it so hard to meet people in comic-book land??? That’s why this story is making waves around the world – it’s so relatable! Think about it – these people have been chasing each other around for 65 years – that’s sick! It’s just like Cosmopolitan City, where one can be single (and fabulous…) and date a string of unsuitable partners for a lifetime! Surely, both Betty and Veronica could go online to meet more suitable partners, or perhaps hit the bar scene… They could join common-interest groups, try speed dating, cooking classes, volleyball, singles cruises or singles day trips to New York City…
Really, the only fair way for this story to end is for Veronica to turn Archie down. Then, Archie could go to the nearest bar, get totally hammered and then go over to Jughead’s to complain about his misfortune with women, only to find Jughead in bed with both Betty and Veronica. Ha Ha!