GUILT

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh, guilt. No, this post has nothing to do with my mother. The guilt I am feeling is self inflicted. And ridiculous. Why is it, you are asking yourself, that I am feeling so guilty? What have I done now?? Well, here it is.......

I have found an amazing man.

This has led me to feel an extraordinary range of emotions, such as happiness, joy, elation, gratitude and, somewhat ridiculously, guilt. I feel so fortunate to have met my great guy (let's call him G Spot), and trust me, I've worked long and hard and dated all kinds of men who turned out to be so very un-amazing in the mean time, that I should feel fortunate. It's my turn! However, in solidarity with the other tragic singletons who I have lived through the saga of modern day dating with, I feel guilty. It's like I have survivors guilt. Why was I able to find someone great when some of my other fabulous friends are still slogging it out? Why was I spared???!!!

Being polite, I try not to go on and on ad nauseum about how happy I am with G Spot. I don't want to rub it in, but damn, am I happy......... Of course, should anything go disastrously wrong, or should we have our first fight, I will gladly offer up the gory details. Still, so far so good.

Perhaps I am paying my penance to singledom by being grateful. I've suffered through bad dates, bad relationships and the modern mystery that is online dating, and I finally met a good guy. As the memory of tragic singledom is still fresh, I am very mindful of making myself available to my friends for GNO's, dildo parties at my place, etc. (well, when I'm not holed up in my flat with G Spot having regular sex....). I'm also still trying to set my singleton friends up and I have taken on the role of speed dating coach. If I was unappreciative of this situation, perhaps I should feel guilty. Seriously, in between the highs of being intoxicated by someone else's fabulousness, I would perfer not to feel guilt like only a politician, Catholic priest, or OJ Simpson could!