Sunday, January 24, 2010
Welcome To The Vajungle
Today’s word is vajungle - a term coined by one of G Spot’s witty mates. It is by far the best and funniest new word I’ve learned since I heard the term 'cankles' a couple of years ago (continues to crack me up!). Having been single for many, many years, I’ve had to keep up with the changing trends of manicuring as they pertain to my bikini line. Please see below for a chronological list of bikini line trends from my high school years to the present day:
* the full bush: demonstrated by Samantha Jones (as requested by Smith Jerrod) on SATC
* shaving: the ultimate indignity (stubble – yeesh!)
* the regular bikini wax: my personal favourite
* shaping: such as a heart for V-day or something equally as ridiculous…
* the “Telly Savalas” or “Hollywood” bald aesthetic: never appealed to me as I don’t date pedophiles…
* the Brazilian: can't do it - I'm half Italian....
I’m pretty pleased with the current landscape of my bikini line. Having recently seen a naked woman at the gym who appeared to be my age and had an incredibly hairy bikini line, I needed to check with G Spot to inquire if men’s preferences were reverting back towards a 1970’s aesthetic. This is when G Spot advised me of the vajungle. He and his friends have obviously discussed the aesthetics of the vajungle at length (literally!), and it seems that they would prefer not to weed-whack during foreplay. Fair enough.
Relieved to learn that I’m not considered to have a vajungle, I started to think of how much time I spend trimming, waxing and simply considering my bikini line. There have been times in the past where I have waxed for my own comfort, but let me tell you – when you aren’t having sex, waxing seems as unpleasant and unwelcome as a visit from Jehovah's Witnesses at your door on a Sunday morning (or any morning, come to think...). It’s so unfair - G Spot only has to shower before he comes over. Me? I have to trim, wax and pluck before I can f*ck!