Monday, September 6, 2010
Pick Your Battles
No one avoids confrontation like I do. I am a passionate person and people tend to p*ss me off now and again (more now than again, but whatever…), but I only put the gloves on when absolutely necessary. My mother, the grappling guru June Cleaver Blogshaw, has always advised me to pick my battles. I believe this to be good advice. However, when a variety of things are irritating you, how do you know which battles to fight and which to forget about?
When it comes to relationships, the picking of the battles is of utmost importance. I know that I can’t fight the little battles too often, such as the fridge full of empty containers, the roll of toilet paper that can’t change itself and the beautiful tufted silk coverlet that was never meant to live on the floor… When it comes to the larger issues, and many times there are more than one, how do you know which is worth a fight?
On a recent evening out, G Spot and I got right into it. Was the timing right? No. Was the place right? No. Did the issue need to be elevated? Apparently. When something needs to come out, the bandage needs to be ripped off, right? What’s the point in waiting till the time and the place are right, as catching the issue in the moment seems to be the best policy. At least that’s what my therapist says.
It’s unpleasant to have to fight most battles. Particularly when you’re all dressed up and taking your lover to a fancy dinner at one of Cosmopolitan City’s nicest restaurants, but I digress… He said what he needed to say. So did I. Will there ever be a time when we won’t have to pick out battles? I bet there won’t be. Will there ever be a perfect place in which to get into it? Probably not. Truthfully, there’s never a good time for a spanish inquisition – whether it’s before dinner, after dessert or during aperitifs. The lesson learned? Order enough champagne/wine/brandy to get you through it, learn to use your inside voice and, above all, leave a tremendous tip!