Today's Funny

He said to me... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to him... You wear pants don't you?

He said to me... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said ... That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

He said to me... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him... They don't have time.

He said to me... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him... I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking? I said to him... They already have boyfriends.

He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said... A widow.

He said to me... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him ... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.