Sunday, February 19, 2012

... And Make It Snappy

One of the most exciting things about a new relationship is learning to communicate, am I right?!
Um, no, it's not the most fun but it certainly lays the groundwork. If you can get there. My newest boyfriend, who we'll call Big Daddy, and I had quite the communication clusterf*ck the other night. Oh yeah, you know, that night... Valentines Day night!
It started out so well. He showed up in a sexy suit with two dozen stunning red roses in hand. Perfection. We talked about our days, revelled in some romance and made out a bit... Then his phone rang. As he does a significant amount of business overseas, I allow the occasional work phone call. In order to receive decent reception in my condo, calls must be taken along the side of the living room and bedroom walls. Convenient, I know. He had his chat, which ended up taking some time. After a while, he got thirsty. I was in the kitchen arranging my fabulous flowers when I saw some motioning in the distance. Not sure if the grandiose arm gestures had to do with his work, I went back to being a florist. Then, I heard it. I didn't recognize it at first, as I haven't heard it in a while. What was it, you ask? It was snapping. He was snapping his fingers to get my attention and motioning for me to bring him his beer.
Incredible. Irritating. Insulting?! What was my reaction, you wonder? Do you think I would have ignored him? Given him the finger?? Broken his fingers??? Unbelievably and in spite of every ounce of feminist feeling in my system, I graciously grabbed his drink and pranced over to hand it to him. Since when did I respond to men like that?! Apparently, the two of us communicate like a familiar and well-oiled (well, that was later) master and servant. Would you like fries with this post?!

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