50 first dates

Having trouble getting to the second date stage? This has never been a problem for me - I guess I’m just that irresistible (to masochists???!!!)…… However, there are some people out there who are experiencing difficulties in reaching that stage. What is going on? What is the major malfunction?? My friends at eHarmony, who continue to harass me with unsolicited emails on a biweekly basis, have come identified 5 bad habits that tank first dates:

* Don’t monopolize the conversation – Sorry, you’re just not that interesting… It’s great to have non-stop conversation on first dates (lulls can be so awkward when you’re chatting with someone new), however it should not be all about yourself. No matter how interesting you think you are, try to encourage your date to share some info about themselves. Trust me - I’ve been on dates with men who talk about themselves incessantly and, although it may be amusing for the first 2 minutes, start to imagine a lifetime of it………

* Don’t overshare – Guilty as charged. I am an open book and must always resist the urge to share everything with everyone. While it’s good to be open, it’s not good to be an open-heart surgery.

* Don’t try to be someone you’re not – I’ve never understood this. How can one be someone that one is not??? I suppose, if one is an oscar-winning actor, one could pull off being someone else… Or, if one suffers from multiple personality disorder, one could potentially be many people that one is not, but for the rest of us……???!!!

* Don’t propose – Hell, no! Jesus – I think I had a massive coronary just reading that…

* Don’t ignore cues – This is the hardest work of all. Trying to pick up on the subtleties of a stranger is not easy. I prefer to look for more obvious signs, such as yawning (an obvious signal that he wants to get me into bed), looking at other women (an obvious sign that he wants a threesome), begging the waitress to bring the bill (an obvious sign that he wants a foursome) and constantly looking towards the exit sign (an obvious sign that he can’t wait to take us all out of there).