Sunday, June 12, 2011

Fear Factor

Due to popular request from you, my faithful followers, I am going to address what I feel are the reasons why my former fiance, G No, left. I, along with many others (including professionals), have narrowed it down to 3 main factors:
Fear. Change. Guilt.
The fear? Perhaps of an unfamiliarity with living a new, happy, healthy, balanced way of life with the best possible partner.
The change? Going from single to engaged to homeowner to cohabitant... I know all about it, as I was going through it, too.
The Guilt? Of being happy, I suspect.

A few weeks ago, I came across an amazing article from The Daily Love by Mastin Kip ( This article seemed to be written to help me understand what happened in this atrocious mess. Please see below for some revelatory reading:

Many times we wish and wish for the right person to come into our lives. We don’t seem to understand why it’s not working out with others. We end up in toxic, unloving relationships, and deep down know something better is out there.
The challenge is, when something better does come along, to not run away.
After years of disappointment, heart break and unhappy endings, it can be very easy to close down on real love. No matter what, don’t let that happen!
Remember, strength in the muscles of your body is created by your muscles being ripped apart, and then rebuilt. Your heart and your emotional intelligence and fitness operate the same way. It is easy to close down after you’ve been hurt. It’s easy to throw a wrench into real love when it comes. I understand it’s scary, but WHO CARES?
Move forward in spite of your fear. Move forward INTO the scariness of it all. Be courageous. Don’t let fear win. OPEN UP anyway. The risk of not opening, in the end, is far worse than the risk of opening.
Don’t let love pass you by. Don’t let fear win.
NO! Instead, let love win. Open up, even when, you are afraid. Open up, even when you are scared of getting hurt. Open up, even when you don’t know what’s going to happen.
Listen to me: LOVE WILL PASS YOU BY if you always choose the safe path.
I am not suggesting that you open up to the first person who comes along. No. I am not suggesting that at all. I am suggesting that when you have a connection with someone, when you feel it, when you are so scared of how much you feel it, go in the opposite direction of your fear. Do not be afraid of the love you feel.
KNOW THIS: The right person will meet you. The right person will show up. But they can’t if you don’t open.
Learn to value openness and rebuilding your heart more than safety. Don’t let the wounds of the past create a wounded future. No. It can be different. Love can be yours. But first you must be open to it. Learn how to be more loving from your past pain, not how to be more closed.
Don’t give up on love, no, give IN TO love!

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