Sunday, November 29, 2009
I have heard others describe Facebook as the root of all evil. I have now experienced the evil first hand. Through an invitation to a friend’s birthday party, I came across a picture of my ex, the crashing bore known as Mr. Hello Wall. First came the profile photo to show that he had bought a house. Then came the profile photo to indicate that not only is he married, but he married the woman he met on Craigslist after we broke up. He married the chrome sucking slut (see related post).
Now, the fact that I am not married to Mr. Hello Wall is just fine. The idea of spending the rest of my life with a (poorly endowed) man who is only capable of having lengthy conversations about his salary and/or new car would be punishing. However, I am disturbed and insulted by who he married. After all, is it not a universally known fact that, when one relationship ends, your next partner is supposed to be an IMPROVEMENT on the last???!!! The only thing he’s been known to brag about her is the fact that “she could suck the chrome off a fender”. Fair enough – I never liked the guy enough to perform that task for him. I guess, for some men (or, perhaps, most men…), that’s all it really takes…
I’m not sure what would possess someone to advertise themselves on the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist (a website known more for the buying and selling of scummy old furniture than for scummy old vaginas…), but this is where Mr. Hello Wall found love. What scares the sh*t out of me is that he might actually think he did trade up???!!! Good lord – I’ve seen the photos. I’m having a crisis of confidence! Do I not have as much to offer as someone who sells their body online???!!!
Despite this perplexing scenario, I am still a big believer in the theory of trading up. After all, I did!