Thursday, March 5, 2009

There's no such thing as a free lunch

That’s an old expression, but it holds truth. Not sure who coined the phrase, but the people at Unnamed Lunchtime Dating Website have sure figured how to work it! A couple of years ago, one of my friends (a smug married at the time) told me about this website. She said I should try it out – after all, it would just be lunch. How awful/uncomfortable/cringeworthy could an innocuous lunch date be???!!! I used to try everything that my friends told me to do so that:

* They would get off my back
* They would see me trying
* They would feel bad when it turned into yet another dating disaster
* I could blame THEM

Like a good girl, I called the professionals at Unnamed Lunchtime Dating Website. They felt that their program was perfect for me. After all, I was a busy professional who didn’t have a lot of time (or will, at that point) to devote to whoring myself around town. It sounded great. They offered:

* Consultants who would work to find me the perfect mate
* Weekly matches
* Date details carefully planned for me
* A shoulder to cry on if a date turned out to be a psycho…

Sounded good to me! After seriously considering it, I decided that it might not be that bad… Once they knew they had piqued my interest, they pulled out the big guns:

* Psychological profiling!
* Background checks!

Wow! They had me at psychological profiling…. I was IN! The only question that I had was, how much? It is known that, when someone addresses you by your full name, you are in trouble... “Well, Miss Blogshaw… we can offer you our services for the low, low price of $1600.” $1600???!!! I was pretty sure that I could BUY a decent man for that much money! I was reminded of this story today, as I received an email from this company offering a $200 discount… Times are tough, even online. There is only one question I forgot to ask at the time - IS THE LUNCH INCLUDED???

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