Sunday, March 8, 2009

You’re funny looking… You’re stoooooopid… You’re a big, funny looking, stooooooopid meanie-head…

Ahhhhh, the ridiculous words of little boys teasing little girls… Brings back so many memories of being upset and confused by the little buggers. I remember running to my mom whenever a boy would tease me and make me cry. Just like most other mothers, she reassured me that the boy was only teasing me to get my attention. Why? Because he liked me…

Having just seen the movie that is now my favourite film of all time, He’s Just Not That Into You (click on title for link to film trailer), I am inspired to write about the (misguided) concept of boys teasing girls in an attempt to convey affection. The beginning scene in the movie where the little girl is so confused when her mother tried explaining the nature of playground teasing really struck a chord. I remember those times in my youth. I remember who the boys were. I remember what they were teasing me about. I remember which playground each instance occurred in. I remember everything, including what might have been the worst advice I was ever given in life!!!

During our most important and formative years, girls are taught that boys treat them badly because they like them. Then, for the rest of our lives, we seem to make excuses for men who treat us badly… What is happening here? What if boys were teasing us just to tease us, because they really DID think we were big, dumb booger-heads???!!! Now, just like then, look who’s having the last laugh!!!???

I’m wondering if June Cleaver-Blogshaw gave me that advice to shut me up (this is entirely possible and I’m pretty sure that most of what she tells me – even now - is expressly for that purpose). In adulthood, I have made excuses for men who never deserved a chance, yet I excused bad behaviour with the reassurance that he was treating me that way BECAUSE HE LIKED ME!!! How many times have we told our girlfriends that the guy they like is treating them badly because they are:

* Intimidated by her success
* Intimidated by her beauty
* Intimidated by her lifestyle
* Intimidated to commit because he’s never had it so good before and has no benchmark

I must say, it is difficult as a thirty-something woman to realize that I’ve been mislead through that many years. I now have to undo thirty years of misinformation and learn something new. It’s not easy to teach an old broad new tricks… However, it is with great relief that, yet again, I can blame this on my mother.

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