Sunday, November 30, 2008

Dating Etiquette 101

It seems that some of us (I'm lying... I mean those of the male persuasion) need to go over the expectations of etiquette that apply to dating. Unfortunately, there are quite a few men out there who have lost track of how to go about things, or perhaps never really knew how to behave properly from the start. I'll start off with my rules of etiquette as they apply to dating online. I would also like to offer up some pointers for dating in general, but I just can't stomach tackling both at the same time. Please stay tuned.

Online Dating Tips for Men:

* If you are on a dating website, then it is assumed that you are interested in DATING. If you are not quite sure what you're looking for, or if you are interested in playing games with women, you should not be on a DATING website. Try a GAMING website instead. If this is hard for you, then please take your profile off the dating and relationship sections and just keep your profile on the casual sex section.

* If you are married, you should NOT be on a dating website.

* If you put up a picture from 10 years ago and have possibly changed since then (???!!!), try putting up a more recent picture.

* If you put up a picture of yourself when you had hair and now you do not, put up a picture of your damn bald self.

* If you are ugly and put up a picture of one of your better looking friends, please bite me.

* If you are shirtless and wearing fireman pants and suspenders in your profile picture, please stop contacting me.

* Don't describe your attractiveness and, for the love of god, if you feel that you have to, PLEASE don't put it first. The typical "I'm a good-looking guy..." sounds awful and is so superficial. Plus, it doesn't really matter how good looking you THINK you are, as I will be the judge of that!

* Please avoid at all costs the "Ambush Introduction". What is this, you ask? The Ambush Introduction occurs when one instant messages a member without testing the waters first. What do I mean by this? I mean, send a smile or a poke or something first. If you do not receive a response in a reasonable amount of time, please forgo the instant messaging. The lack of response was our way of rejecting you without having to end conversations or log out when you contact us out of the blue and are shirtless and wearing fireman pants and suspenders in your profile picture.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hear ya sister! I'm thinking there could be a part two to this one. My personal faves are: "You...good looking, fit, active, looks great in a bikini." Blah blah blah. Bite me. And of course the oh so popular. "If you don't have a profile pic then don't bother, fair is fair."Yes I have to admit profile pics are important. However, I find that statement rather off putting. So there's my two cents worth and boy oh boy is there more where that came from. Unfortunately.