Saturday, January 17, 2009
This is a toughie for me.
In the typical feast or famine murphy's law that I am now accustomed to experiencing in my life, I am trying to figure out how to handle dating in multiples. This is hilarious to me, as there was a drought of men in my life for an extended period of time (we're talking YEARS here, people!), and now it seems that they have all arrived at once. I'm torn.
I know that people now (compared to YEARS ago when I used to date more often) are dating in multiples. I understand that we're not to be too focused on or serious about any one person within what seems to me to be an unreasonably long length of time. I feel, however, that dating in multiples is more tempting and possible for men than it is for women - it must be part of the hunter/gatherer nature.
Here is the dilemma: I have 4 on the go. I HAVE NEVER had 4 on the go before - it's taking a lot out of me. I will deal with them in groups of 2, as tackling 4 at a time is too much for me today. I started dating Bachelor #1 a while ago, and have gone on the most dates with him. He seems cool and I like him, but his courting methods leave much to be desired. Bachelor #2 came along shortly after Bachelor #1, which put him at a disadvantage, as I already liked #1 and was making excuses as to why it wouldn't be able to work with #2. Then, #1 totally slacked off and paved the way for #2. Then, numbers 3 and 4 came along, but as I said, we'll deal with them later.
Now, both #1 & #2 want to go out again. This would be a fifth date with #1 and a third date with #2. What troubles me is this: is it okay to be kissing two guys? To me, it doesn't feel right but if I asked a guy, I'm sure he'd say it's totally fine. I asked a girlfriend, who told me that it's okay to kiss 2 people at a time (not simultaneously, however - that is a different blog altogether), as long as the making out is kept above the waistline. Okay... Another friend said that it's okay not to kiss someone until the 3rd date (which is where I'm getting to with Bachelor #2), which gives me some time to work this out.
Any comments, advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. I'm still unsure of how I will handle the next week, but I will advise. I took the time to wonder if I might be able to join a polygamist society where this type of arrangement (let's say it works out with all 4 of them???!!!), but that type of community only exists for MEN! There are no polygamist societies that I can find were women can be the ones with multiple husbands. Not fair!