Sunday, January 11, 2009

Oh, Joy!

It has come to my attention that The Joy of Sex, the guide to lovemaking that has been cherished by adults and coveted by horny little high schoolers for 30 years, has been updated. Although some things have not changed, such as the book's exclusive focus on heterosexuality, there are some updates to sex that I found quite amusing, as follows:

* Having sex in a moving vehicle is now illegal

* Having sex on a horse is now illegal (how, HOW did they find out???)

* Hairy is in and a neat, clean-shaven aesthetic is out (according to the author, "shaving is simply ignorant vandalism")

* The (unshaven) armpit is the new erogenous zone

* There has been a noticeable increase in the rise of serial seducers and pick-up artists in North America (I could have contributed to the writing of this book...)

* Both women AND MEN form emotional attachments to sex partners very quickly (this could become a HUGELY controversial topic)

I write a lot about internet dating and this book has devoted much attention to the modern phenomenon of internet sex. Online dating, porn and downloaded sex tapes aside, there is a new aspect to internet sex, called Teledildonics. The book describes teledildonics as "the long-distance use of a sex toy controlled from afar." Wow. It goes on to say that "it is possible to not only plug a sex toy into your computer and have your lover operate it from afar, but also there are MP3 players that double as vibrators." Thanks for that info - I've been looking at my iPod as nothing but an aural toy for years - this could be big for me!

No comments: