Sunday, January 18, 2009
What happens when 4 friends get together for a girls night in? Besides endless discussions on varying topics such as work, fashion, dating, vacations, how to be the most fabulous recessionista of ‘09 and, obviously, the odd bitchfest rant, sometimes we come up with business ideas. A couple of weeks ago, the girls and I came up with an idea that might make us our millions.
Now, this is a niche market idea. We understand that there is a demand for this type of service in the marketplace, and we are trying to enhance what is already available. I should also say that this idea originated with the aid of the following:
1 bottle of wine
1 bottle of champagne
1 mickey of dark rum
½ a bottle of Tanqueray
1 incredibly potent marijuana cigarette
Our idea is to improve the lives of the sexually frustrated. I (grudgingly) consider myself to be an expert on this topic. I live with this sense of frustration most of the time. I might be dangerously close to reaching the stage in dating that results in sexual apathy, but I’m not quite there yet. One of my friends, who was INCREDIBLY open with us, showed us the tool that she’s been using to avoid sexual frustration. She is not my only friend who uses this tool and, of my friends that do, they are ALL happy with it. What is this miracle cure to the sad symptom of singledom that is sexual frustration? It is our friend, the Rampant Rabbit.
A few of my closest friends rely on RR quite often. They have told sad stories of forgetting to change the batteries and the bitter disappointment when one realizes that one's stock of AA’s has been depleted. I have not discussed the limitations of the RR with all the girls, as they are vehement supporters and don’t like to hear my opinions on the topic, as I’m a hater (I refuse to give into RoboSex - I remain foolishly optimistic that I might one day be in a relationship that lasts long enough for me to enjoy regular sex). My INCREDIBLY open friend explained that she is not a fan of the buzzing sound that occurs when the RR is doing its job. Not so romantic. Perhaps some people would disagree, as a whirring buzz might turn into white noise and, in some cases, is better than having to listen to insulting dirty talk. We have an idea to remedy this:
The Talking Vibrator
That’s right! Our Romantic Rampant Rabbit will have sound effects to enhance the experience for women. We are keeping this exclusively for women, as we’re not sure how/if gay men are able to use the RR based on dexterity. We feel there could be 3 sound effect options:
* The loving, complimentary, gently murmured and romantic words of Silicon Sully
* The tender moans of Silicon Sully complete with well-timed climax where you just know, if he was real, he’d be looking into your eyes
* The unromantic grunts and moans that some women have come to expect in a standard 2-minute session, however it would be played on repeat for the length of time it takes for US to finish
As this is just the beginning phases of our startup business, we would appreciate any and all feedback. And, we implore you, as we are busy and have not had time to trademark or register this fabulous initiative, please don’t steal our idea!