Is 35 Too Old To Wear A Miniskirt?

Ummmmmm.... No!

In a survey of the age-apropriateness of fashion performed by Diet Chef, 2000 British women (who were these prudes?!) agreed that 35 is too old to wear a miniskirt. Please excuse me while I barf...

I don't understand the results of this study. More importantly, I don't agree with the results of this study. Perhaps the 2000 women are all well over the age of 35. Perhaps the 2000 women suffer from vericose veins?? Perhaps the 2000 women suffer from orange-peely-looking thighs that are pocked with cellulite??? Whoever these rude respondents are, they clearly aren't 35 and wanting to wear miniskirts. Who is 35 and wanting to wear miniskirts? Me.

Why do I still wear minis at this age and stage? First off, I have great legs. I was taught, as a girl, to showcase my best assets. Why not? Secondly, I am newly single. It's almost summer. Short skirts are going to be my new best friends for the next little while. Even in the winter, however, I am still a big fan of the short skirt. When I was last single, I used to make jokes with my seamstress, asking her to take my skirts up to "boyfriend length." Even in relationships, I am still a fan of "boyfriend length" skirts. Guess what? So are my boyfriends.

The real question that they should have asked the 2000 haters is this: Is 41 too old to wear a miniskirt? Based on the picture of J. Lo above, I think the answer would be No. Has anyone seen a picture of Jennifer Aniston in a short skirt lately? If so, then we all know that 42 isn't too old to wear a miniskirt, either. Seriously, it depends on the woman and on the legs. In some sad cases, 18 can be too old to wear a miniskirt based on the situation going on... In my opinion, there is only one sexy singleton who should be able to put an age on miniskirt apropriateness: Tina Turner!

Vera Wanker

This weekend, I found myself at one of the most upscale bridal shops in Cosmopolitan City. I should preface this by mentioning that I haven’t been to many weddings at all (let alone trying to plan one). I’m pretty much a nuptual novice. Perhaps I should have brought an entourage to help me find a dress, however I felt that I would have an easer time on my own. Having an easy time at Upscale Bridal Shop was not meant to be.

Quite typically, I encountered the worst of the stereotype of the hoity-toity salesperson. It was so Pretty Woman. Ummmm, ladies, please remember… You work there. I shop there. ‘Nuff said. Trust me - if I didn’t have the gold Visa limit of my mother, the spare-no-expense-for-the-love-of-god-you’re-finally-getting-married June Cleaver-Blogshaw, I wouldn’t have bothered walking through the door. Jeez!

Apparently, according to the Vera Wankers, it’s simply scandalous to ask if the famed designer would create such an ungodly concoction as a cocktail or tea length dress. The horror! You would have thought that I’d asked where the collection of polyester dresses was… I also had the nerve to ask if any of the Wankers were available to help me, as most were just sitting around looking average. After much dissatisfied clucking and rolling of the eyes, I was told that they only work by appointment. Of course. Since when did wankers become important enough to work by appointment only??? In my experience, you certainly don’t need a good time to have a Vera Wanker!

Hello, Lover

Look at them. Look how beautiful they are. They are without a doubt the most gorgeous booties I have ever seen. For many, MANY months I have wanted to have a relationship with these booties. I have pursued them relentlessly – shamefully, really. Honestly, I have stalked these booties twice a day for 6 months on ebay in an attempt to bring us together. I almost gave up. It was the saddest of unrequited loves and seemed doomed to end in tragedy, like the brief affair between Romeo and Juliet (yes, I do believe this is a fair comparison)… I began to feel that the booties just didn’t want to be with me and it hurt. A lot.

Finally, yesterday, fate stepped in and I was able to purchase the booties. We will finally be together within 5 – 7 business days. We really WERE meant to be! My outfits and I are so excited! I am so very, very happy! I think I have now found inner peace. I guess, sometimes, persistent stalking and raging obsession really pays off.

Fabulous Fringe Boots

I would like to say that, at this point, I have more feelings for these gorgeous boots than I think I ever could for any man!

Re: Online Dating

I would like to tell you about the outfit that I finally picked for the ill-fated online date (please see post below). After many hours of consideration, I decided on skinny jeans tucked into high heel boots with a black button down shirt accented with a black sash belt and simple crystal earrings. Although I did not get any male feedback that evening, my supportive friend (who wholeheartedly joined me in getting SH*Tfaced that night) said I looked great......
I've put up a picture of jeans tucked into fringe boots, which was originally a suggestion for the evening but was quickly discarded as a first date option. Apparently, though, this look would be perfect for a daytime date, such as coffee or brunch.