Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Why They Called It Quits

Welcome to my new topic. In this day and age, calling it quits is de rigeur. Why not take the time to investigate what caused the rigeur mortis (heh!) in the rapid romance between Scarlett Johansson and super sexy Ryan Reynolds?

First of all, I'd like to say 'boo hoo.'
Secondly, I'd like to say 'I'm shocked, as I'm sure you are, too.'
Thirdly, I'd like to say 'who cares?' Answer: I'll tell you who cares. The people who care are the millions of sexy singletons who are thanking the lord that the foxy Ryan Reynolds is back on the market!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Let's talk about sex, lady

Because that's what happens when two bff's have a girls night out. Of course, we spent lots of time talking about other things, such as work, the economy, our outfits, our hair and how having a husband or significant other is like having an adult child. And, obviously, how fun that is...

My bff is a smug married. She has been hauling the ball on a chain for 7 years. Bless... She told tales of how difficult it marriage can be. She told me how long I can expect for it to take to have a lightbulb changed once G Spot and I have shackled ourselves into our lifelong pact. I can expect for his honesty to become much more open and brutal. Apparently, I can also expect my mate to tell me he's too busy to help with dinner and/or cleaning while he's reclined on the sofa drinking a beer and watching football. Or baseball.. Or hockey...

No matter how difficult things get or how stuck they get in the doldrums of daily life, she makes one major concession to her mate every month. Fellatio. Her top tip to keep things from sucking the big one? To suck the big one!