He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

... He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me.

I am a romantic. The dictionary describes me as: being preoccupied with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved. Yep, that's me. The dictionary also describes me as: fanciful, impractical and unrealistic. Fair enough.

When I was a girl, which seems not so long ago, I never dreamed of my wedding. I never dreamed of the dress, the venue, the flowers or the ring. I used to dream of the relationship. I longed to meet and marry the man of my dreams. To find and hold onto true love. Seemed simple at the tme. Turned out to be the longest, hardest search of my life.

Finally, 2 years ago, I found my true love. A man different from any I had known before him and it changed everything. The love that grew, and continues to grow, makes me feel beautiful, desirable, important and supported all the time. Truly loved. Has it been as easy as I had thought a relationship between two lovers would be? No. Has it been a story book romance or a love story that looks like it does in the movies? No. Has it been the most rewarding experience of my life and worth the work? Absolutely.

This post is dedicated to my lover, G Spot. I nicknamed him G Spot for the purpose of this blog because, unlike other women perhaps, my G Spot is in my heart. And that's right where he got me. From the start. Being faced with the unlikely prospect of our relationship not working out (see previous post about related problems called 'Relationsh*ts'), was unfathomable. I would not operate at the same level if he were not around. Perhaps he wouldn't, either.

To all the fanciful, impractical and unrealistic sexy singletons out there, keep at it. As Bridget Jones, Carrie Bradshaw, Cleopatra, Scarlett O'Hara, Jerry Maguire, Adam & Eve and Elizabeth Taylor (?!) would say, Happy Valentines Day!

One of these things is not like the other...

… and isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t it also good that I resisted the urge to quote the lyrics to “Opposites Attract” as the title of this post?? Isn’t it too bad that I couldn’t resist using the picture of Paula Abdul and Scat Cat to get the point across??? What has become of me?!

This post is dedicated to my lover, G Spot, who seems to feel that we have more differences than similarities. I disagree. Yes, we are very different people, however I believe that the things we do have in common are important enough to outweigh our differences. Here are some of the things that we don’t have in common:

* Temperament – he’s calm, cool and collected. I’m a raging spitfire. So?
* Motivation – I walk my talk. He watches.
* Planning – In my opinion, there’s nothing like a solid five year plan. He's better with a five hour plan.
* Fighting – He fights fair. I’m a steamroller.

Below are things we do agree on:

* Long Term Goals – Yep, seems we both want the same things.
* Family – Agreed that both of ours are crazy. Agreed that we both still need the madzers in our lives.
* Career – Yes, it’s important. No, it’s not the most important.
* Politics – We both hate politicians equally.
* Religion – Agreed to disbelieve.

Seriously, people… How fun and exciting would relationships be if we were the same as each other? What would two people who are eerily alike ever learn from each other?? How could two people with the same strengths and weaknesses ever grow and challenge each other??? And, most importantly, how could 2 people who are exactly the same ever have knock down, drag out fights that end in passionate and orgasmic make-up sex???!!!

Yes, opposites attract. Yes, opposites can detract. The thing that seems to be the most important is that our differences should be complimentary. Where I am weak, G Spot is strong. I think this is a winning combination. Having two Carrie Blogshaws in a relationship, though it does sound fabulous, might be a bit much. Same with having two G Spots. Ummm, wait a minute...

Out of sight, out of mind?

Nope! Look at us grow! Yep, my worldly lover, G Spot and I took a mini break together to the beautiful, exciting, expensive and expansive city of New York. The trip involved a lot of careful planning and itinerary-arranging on my part (apparently this is an area of great challenge for most men...), but it was well worth it. Knowing that we can travel together without incident (or insolence) is a nice lesson learned. Phew!

After our successful city tour, I continued on to a week long vacay with Ward and June at Shady Pines in Sunny Southern State. It was a fabulous and much needed vacation, especially considering the copious amount of careful planning and itinerary-arranging that I had been up to for weeks before... Now, G Spot and I have been separated by vacations before, but this time was really tough. After a few days of soaking up the sun by the pool and checking out the sad state of silver foxes driving bright red, convertible Mercedes while checking out their neighbours daughters (ew!), the pangs of absence became pronounced. Things worsened throughout the remainder of the trip. By the last day, although the thought of having to leave to go back to real life was dissatisfactory the thought of not being able to connect with my G Spot for another day (I know, I know!!!), was too much to bear.

Contrary to many of my past dating experiences, I was actually looking forward to seeing G Spot when I returned. We had a nice reunion at the really romantic airport terminal (where I was sweating like a whore at customs trying to smuggle all my vacay loot into Cosmopolitan City) and great sex afterwards, proving that not only does absence make the heart grow fonder, but abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, too!

now that we've found love what are we gonna do with it?

Gotta love the musical musings of Heavy D…… But seriously, now that I’ve found love, what am I going to do with it???!!!

Being in love is great, isn’t it? Surely, it beats not being in love. Not having had much experience in recent years of being in a loving relationship (more like loving getting out of weird relationships…), this is new and exciting (as well as slightly lapsed and somewhat scary) for me. Yes, I love the guy – so now what? Love is hard to quantify or define, so how do people know when or why they are in love? Dictionary.com defines love by the following characteristics:

* A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

* A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend

* A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart

* A love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour

* Sexual intercourse; copulation – whoa….. I’m pretty sure that men have managed to distinguish love from sex in many instances, no???

* A personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid – awww – I should get G Spot to dress up in angel wings and take a picture. Of course, I will share it with you.

* Affectionate concern for the well-being of others

* Strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything – Anything or anyone?!

* The benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God – don’t even get me started – this is NOT a religious blog.

* A score of zero; nothing – this is my love life we’re talking about here, people, not Wimbledon.

The website goes on to define synonyms for love, which I can appreciate:

* AFFECTION is a fondness for others that is enduring and tender, but calm

* DEVOTION is an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person – I’m loving the word DEVOTION right now.

In a very timely article, Respected National Newspaper ran a love poll. The results of the poll were as follows:

Percentage of people who believe in “the one” – 26% of ppl aged 30 – 34 and 36% of ppl aged 50 – 54 believe in the concept of finding 'the one' – this really surprises me, as I have become rather cynical as I’ve aged. I am surprised that people believe in finding ‘the one’ in their later years, which could be after many years of dating... At the age of 54, having not found 'the one', wouldn't one be satisfied simply to find 'one' full stop???!!!

What’s the soonest you’ve said “I love you” in a relationship? 42% of people say the words within a couple of months, 18% within 6 months, 8% within a year & 3% over a year.

Do you believe in love at first sight? 29% of women and 44% of men believe in love at first sight. What???!!! I’m confused! 44% of men????? I must have been dating the other 56% of men over the past few years, then.

Similarly to the percentage of people who believe in ‘the one’, the percentage of people who believe in love at first sight increases with age, which is very interesting to me. I’ve become such a jaded woman, my goodness! However, luckily and thankfully, not so jaded to be unable to let love in. Where I once used to give death glares to couples engaged in enthusiastic PDA’s, I now smile in solidarity – I can relate. Lately, I’ve been wandering around Cosmopolitan City fueled by endorphins from having regular sex (yes!!!) with a face like a smiley emoticon and I love it.