If It's Not One Thing, It's My Mother: Yeesh

Free as a snowbird, I have travelled all the way to Sunny Southern State to enjoy a relaxing vacation. With my parents.. On a golf course... Okay, so it's not exactly South Beach, but Shady Pines has it's pluses.
I had only been here a day when I noticed that my parents, Ward and June Cleaver-Blogshaw, had given each other Valentines Day cards. So sweet. Or so I thought. I innocently took the time to read the cards, which were displayed on the kitchen counter (no, I wasn't rummaging through their dresser drawers... that was the next day).
I looked at the pink and red card first. It was from Ward to June. The sentiment read: "They say Valentines Day is all about the love. Which is good, because somebody ate all the candy. Oh well, have a great day." Awwwwww, cute.
The pink card with sparkly purple designs was from June to Ward. The sentiment read: "Oh, you've set my heart to racing. Feel it? That's not my heart." The inside caption said: "Happy Valentines from someone you can always misbehave with."
The picture was of an old man with a pop-up arm that jerked himself off whenever you open and close the card. Ewwwwww. I didn't realize it was going to be this hot at Shady Pines! Yech.

Happy Valentines Day

Can you believe it? I am in shock. I have just spent a romantic and intimate Valentines weekend with my fabulous lover, G Spot, for the 2nd year in a row. Wow! My typical "I Hate Valentines Day" party was cancelled yet again this year because I now like Valentines Day. Having spent so very many V Days frustrated and alone, it's still strange for me to enjoy it and especially with the same man as last year!

Being in the luvved up phase of a relationship is so great. However, I am careful not to sound too annoying to my single friends. One of my freakin' funniest spinster friends (what's the male equivalent to spinster??? oh yeah, eligible bachelor.....) recently coined the terms "Couples Appreciation Day" and "Singles Awareness Day", which I find highly amusing and highly descriptive. Having sulkily and reluctantly celebrated Singles Awareness Day for many, many years, I am very happy to be among the ranks of Couples Appreciation Day. I am relieved. I am grateful. I am smug.

I appreciate my relationship very much and have taken the time to stop and smell the roses. I appreciate the time we spend together (all of it). I appreciate the sex (all of it). I appreciate the mornings when I can snuggle into his nook (one of my favourite things in life). I appreciate the way he teases me about my various peculiarities and quirks. I appreciate the time we spend talking and laughing (laughing at my various peculiarities and quirks). I appreciate his kind, thoughtful and gentle nature - so different from what I had become used to. Seriously - single or coupled up, everyone should take the time to appreciate their G Spot today!

Yes, I Ignored V Day

And for that, I apologize. I'm sure that you, my faithful readers, were shocked. Perhaps you were concerned, wondering if some terrible accident had rendered me unable to type or, worse, interrupted my ability to tap into my special brand of sarcasm... If anyone was expected to write a bitter, jaded rant about this specific Hallmark holiday, it was me. If I had started this blog a year ago, I would have been all over this like white on rice.

For quite a few years, if I was seeing someone around Valentines Day (more commonly referred to during that period as F*cking Valentines Day), I would have to end the relationship shortly before this day of loaded expectations due to lack of interest, an inability to feign enthusiasm and refusal to purchase a gift (doesn't really make sense to re-decorate a sinking ship, if you catch my drift...). My typical V Day celebrations included as many bitter, jaded singletons as I could find, sad bouquets of the cheapest leftover flowers and, not surprisingly, stupid amounts of alcohol.

This year, however, was different and wonderful - I had no frustration, disappointment or resentment to work with. And for that, I do not apologize!